If You Find Yourself...

If you find yourself on a Gulf Coast beach not catching the fish you were hoping to catch, try your hand at some "redneck bonefishing." Head to a shallow flat with little to no wave action and start scanning the water. With some luck, you should start seeing dark shapes milling around in about 6 inches of water: the elusive hardhead cat - er, I mean bonefish. Wade out a bit and start targeting fish. Don't be fooled, these fish aren't stupid. It takes some patience to get one to eat - your fly must be stripped just right to lure them into a strike. They also put up a fair fight. The great thing about redneck bonefishing is that if you miss that single at your 2 o'clock, there's bound to be a trio heading your way at your 9 o'clock. None of that "I stared at the water all day and saw two fish" crap.

The elusive "redneck bonefish"

If you're good, you'll catch several of these fine, native specimens. If you're lucky you'll pick up some other species in the process. Needlefish, croaker, and ladyfish are all possibilities for the glamor fish specialist. You can catch flounder too, I mean, if you're into that.

Perfect camouflage

Just watch out for the venomous, barbed spines on the dorsal and pectoral fins of those bonefish. Didn't know bonefish had spines? Well now, I don't know what to tell you...